Lately, your child has been extremely irritable and sad, even when playing with friends and favorite toys. Other parents you know have suggested that it may be "a stage," but your child's behaviors and emotions aren't improving and your gut tells you that something is wrong. 
What can you do to help? 
The most important steps to take are to recognize that it may be an emotional or behavioral problem your child is having and to intervene as quickly as possible. In many cases, finding a good therapist will be key in recognizing the problem and in treating it effectively. 
If you've asked your child about what's bothering her and she's reluctant to express herself, a therapist can often bridge the communication gap. Child and family psychologists are specifically trained to work with young children and adolescents, helping even the most timid to open up and share feelings. 
On the other hand, maybe your child has shared her feelings with you, but you're not sure how best to handle a particular problem or situation. Or, maybe you and your child haven't been getting along lately, and heated arguments or disagreements have replaced the usual dinnertime chatter. In all of these situations, a therapist can offer an objective view and a variety of solutions that may be useful for your family. 
Your child's doctor should examine your child if you have any concerns that he may be depressed or experiencing other emotional problems. Your child's doctor will perform a complete physical exam and may order tests to evaluate whether a medical problem could be contributing to your child's symptoms. 
According to Francine M. Roberts, PsyD, RN, and author of The Therapy Sourcebook, children who are not yet school-age could benefit from seeing a therapist if there is a significant delay in achieving developmental milestones such as walking, language development, and toilet teaching. 
In older children, the best indicator of emotional difficulty may be their school functioning. Behavior that may be tolerated within a family is sometimes recognized as inappropriate when the child enters a school setting, according to Roberts. 

Watch for Signs of Stress
Although what's considered normal or acceptable behavior can vary a great deal depending upon your child's age and level of maturity, some of the signs that your child may be experiencing stress include: 
•	developmental delay in speech, language, or toilet teaching 
•	behavioral problems (such as excessive anger, acting out, or eating disorders) 
•	 a significant drop in grades, particularly if your child normally maintains high grades 
•	episodes of sadness or depression 
•	social withdrawal or isolation 
•	decreased interest in previously enjoyed activities 
•	overly aggressive behavior (such as biting, kicking, or hitting) 
•	sudden changes in appetite (particularly in adolescents) 
•	insomnia or increased sleepiness 
•	excessive school absenteeism or tardiness 
•	mood swings (extremely happy 1 minute, crying the next) 
•	development of or an increase in physical complaints (such as headache, stomachache, or not feeling well) despite a normal physical exam by your child's doctor 
It's also helpful to speak to caregivers and teachers who interact with your child on a regular basis. Is your child paying attention in class and turning in assignments? What’s her behavior like at recess? Gather as much information as possible to determine the best course of action for your child. 

How Can I Help My Child? 
You can help your child deal with emotional issues by listening in a caring, nonjudgmental manner. Willingness on your part, patience, and a trusting relationship are the main requirements when helping your child cope during a difficult time. Children need their parents to listen to them through positive times as well as challenging ones, and patience is critical as many young children are unable to verbalize their fears and emotions. 
It may be helpful to set aside a specific time to discuss your child's worries or concerns. During this time, turn off the TV and let the answering machine record your phone messages. This will let your child know that she is your first priority. 

Listed below are more guidelines that may help you to foster open communication and problem solving within your family. 
•	Talk openly and frequently with your child and let him know that you care. 
•	Set a positive example for your child by taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. 
•	Enlist the support of your partner, immediate family members, your child’s doctor, and teachers.
•	Join a support group for parents. 
•	Improve communication by having regular family meetings. 
•	Set limits on inappropriate or problematic behaviors. Ask your child's therapist for some strategies to encourage your child's cooperation. 
•	Communicate frequently with your child's therapist. 
•	Be open to hearing all types of feedback from your child and from her therapist. 
•	Spend time with your child and participate in her favorite activities or hobbies. 
•	Remember that early intervention and recognition of a problem will help you get the best care for your child's emotional problems. 

This information was provided by KidsHealth, one of the largest resources online for medically reviewed health information written for parents, kids, and teens. For more articles like this one, visit www.kIdsHealth.org or www.TeensHealth.org 

Monthly reports on the problems of children and adolescents growing up. 
Editor's Note: Subscribers are permitted to photocopy multiple copies for clients and colleagues who would benefit from the material. Not for resale or mass distribution. The Brown University Child and Adolescent Behavior Letter, @2002, Manisses Communications Group, Inc. 208 Governor St., 
Providence, RI 02906. (401) 831-6020. Betty Rawts Lang, publisher; Karienne Stove II , senior managing editor: Michelle Montecalvo and Michael McGregor, associate editors.