| A | B |
|---|
| To enable us to update our stockholder records, we ask that the enclosed card be returned. | Reader Benefit - So that you may promptly receive dividend checks and information related to your shares, please return the enclosed card. |
| Our warranty becomes effective only when we receive an owner's registration. | Reader Benefit - Your warranty begins working for you as soon as you return your owner's registration. |
| We offer a CD-ROM language program that we have complete faith in. | Reader Benefit - The sooner you order the CD-ROM language program, the sooner the rewards will be yours. |
| The Human Resources Department requires that the enclosed questionnaire be completed immediately so that we can allocate our training resource funds. | Reader Benefit - By filling out the enclosed questionnaire, you can be one of the first employees to sign up for the new career development program. |
| I have scheduled your vacation to begin May 1. | You View - You may begin your vacation May 1. |
| We have shipped your order by UPS, and we are sure it will arrive in time for the sales promotion January 15. | You View - Your order will be delivered by UPS in time for your sales promotion January 15. |
| I'm asking all employees to respond to the attached survey regarding working conditions. | You View - Because your ideas count, please complete the attached survey regarding working conditions. |
| If we just hang in there, we can snag the contract. | Conversational/Professional Language or Cliche - If we don't get discouraged, we can win the contract. |
| All employees are herewith instructed to return the appropriately designated contracts to the undersigned. | Conversational Language - Please return your contracts to me. |
| Pertaining to your order, we must verify the sizes that your organization requires prior to consignment of your order to our shipper. | Conversational/Professional Language - We'll send your order as soon as we confirm the sizes you need. |
| The writer wishes to inform the above-referenced individual that subsequent payments may henceforth be sent to the address cited below. | Conversational/Professional Language - Your payments should now be sent to us in Lakewood. |
| To facilitate ratification of this agreement, your negotiators urge that the membership respond in the affirmative. | Conversational/Professional Language - We urge you to approve the agreement by voting yes. |
| We are unable to send your shipment until we receive proof of your payment. | Positive Language - We look forward to sending your shipment as soon as we receive your payment. |
| We are sorry that we must reject your application for credit at this time. | Positive Language - At this time we can serve you on a cash basis only. |
| You will never regret opening a charge account with us. | Positive Language - Your new charge account enables you to purchase executive suits at reasonable prices. |
| If you fail to pass the exam, you will not qualify. | Positive Language - You'll qualify if you pass the exam. |
| Although I've never had a paid position before, I have worked as an intern in an attorney's office while completing my degree requirements. | Positive Language - My experience in an attorney's office and my recent training in legal procedures and computer applications can be assets to your organization. |
| Your order cannot be shipped by January 10. | Positive Language - Your order will be shipped January 20. |
| If a physician is needed, he will be called. | Inclusive Language - If a physician is needed, he or she will be called. |
| Every homeowner must read his insurance policy carefully. | Inclusive Language - Homeowners must read their insurance policies carefully. |
| Every attorney has ten minutes for his summation. | Inclusive Language - All attorneys have ten minutes for their summations. |
| terminate | Familiar Words - end |
| utilize | Familiar Words - use |
| ascertain | Familiar Words - find out |
| Personnel assigned vehicular space in the adjacent areas are hereby advised that utilization will be suspended temporarily Friday morning. | Plain Language - Please do not park in the lot next door on Friday morning (rephrase positively if possible). |
| conceptualize | Familiar Words - see |
| encompass | Familiar Words - include |
| hypothesize | Familiar Words - guess |
| monitor | Familiar Words - check |
| operational | Familiar Words - working |
| option | Familiar Words - choice |
| perpetuate | Familiar Words - continue |
| perplexing | Familiar Words - troubling |
| reciprocate | Familiar Words - return |
| stipulate | Familiar Words - require |
