I'm kind of in this mood. You see..... I don't know what to do. I have this friend. She was my best friend at the beginning of this year, and then again at the end. But notice how in the middle and then, after school was over, shes not my best friend anymore. We'll, you see.... my friend durring the school year, took the liberty into treating me really poorly, so I believed that I was unspecial, and usless and decided that she didn't want me for a best friend durring those times. But why did she treat me so badly you ask? Well, see... my "so called" best friend, took my friendship for granted when she invited another girl into her best friend slot. She hung around her every day at break, lunch, when they had a class near each other, afterschool and before school, all the time - except in classes they wern't together in, which some of them I waas in and my "so called" best friend tried to "be my" friend durring those times. Besides that, there was no explination, no and - buts - fors-ors - nors, nothing! I My best friend no longer existed in my mind. After a quarter or two of this same routine I begain getting impatient. I begain crying to my mom each day when I got in the car saying - "Andrea wouldn't even say Hi to me today because she was too busy talking to Rachel" or "Andrea hates me! Her and Rachel are so good together! I'm a looser", and my mom would just tell me to stop treating her like a best friend and move on - her exact words were " Best friends don't hurt other Best Friends". I kept thinking that my mom was wrong (but you see... thats the crude thing about Mom's - they are usually always right... anyways...) and I decided after awhile to just handle the situation myself. But you know what? I turned out wrong. I went to school and started sending her notes saiying that I was sick of Rachel and all of her mean annoying habbits that got on my nerves. Oh... which brings me to a story telling point. One day, when we were all in Enviornmental Science class - this was with Rachel and Andrea both and me.... and it was the last quarter of school. We were getting ready to harvest tomato plants. Rachel, being who she was wanted a tomato plant that wns MINE. M.I.N.E. and M.I.N.E. only. I refused to let her have it and instead, she pulled of a tomato, squeezed it into mush and started throwing it at me. Plus earliter on in the year she made me PICK UP HER BOOKS!!! and TIE HER SHOES!! AHHHHH! Imagine the horror! Its slavery all over again! The only reason I did all these stupid things, delt with Rachel, all of that... was because of Andrea Hay. Because of a friend I feared I couldn't have. So I delt with all that crud that Rachel did to me, for a friend that I only got to see half of the year. I was too stupid then. To idiotic to realise that that ment dire consiquences. STUPID!! STUPID! I was. I don't doubt myself now, but I felt SO STUPID when I realised what I had done. I recall a conversation with my mom I had in the grocery store after school one day."
"Yes hunny?" She was picking up some loaves of bread... I think...
"What is the most extream thing that you have ever done for a friend?"
"Well....hum...lets see....I've.....hunny is anything wrong?"
"No mom...just curious"
"How about if I put it to you this way....What is the worst thing you could possibly do to keep a friend?"
"Hum....Lie I suppose"
"I know you've probably done that before"
"Yup" I remember bursting into tears then.
Mom dropped the loaves of bread into the cart.
"Hunny whats wrong?"
"Rachel, mom!! Rachel!!!"
"What about Rachel?!"
"Mommy my friend HATES ME!"
"Rachel hates you?"
"Probably but thats not what I ment...ANDREA!!!" I was slobbering
"Hunny, Andrea cares about you!"
"Mommy I've been such an IDIOT!"
"I've been doing stupid things. I.... I've been picking up Rachels books for her and tied her shoes for her and...."
"Yes!!! I know I've been an idiot!"
" I'm going to call that girls parents when we get home! I SWARE! Honey you should NEVER EVER do that!"
" NOOO Mom! Don't call Rachel's parents!"
" Andrea won't like me anymore. I don't have any friends! I need her or I'll be LONLEY!!"
" YOU DID THAT FOR ANDREA?"
" Yes mummy! I did that so Andrea would be my friend. I figured if Rachel didn't like me she'd take Andrea AWAY!!!"
" Claire Thixton! We are going home right now and calling Mrs. Hay and Rachel's parents both! That is RIDICULOUS!"
"NOOOOO PLEASE DON'T!!!"
" Fine then, she's your friend you do what you want!"
" I'll talk to Rachel tomorrow"
" Okay... I'll make you a deal Rachel does one more thing to you, or you have to do one more thing for Rachel... I'm going over to her house I sware. Deal?"
" Okay! Deal!"
But.... Ahhhh... my lovely friends... the story does continue there! From there, Andrea started including me into her and Rachel's conversations and so forth, but I never felt quiet the same.
Oh... and do you remember earlier me telling you that there was also a reason why she wasn't my best friend AFTER SCHOOL ENDED? ^_^ Humm...... well.... it starts out that I have this boyfriend. YES A BOYFRIEND! I get that from everyone... ooooohhh Claires got a BOYFRIEND?! Yes I do, and as a matter of fact, he is pretty cool. Okay, so I have this boyfriend.... well.... sometimes he gets on my nerves because he dosn't call me or write me e-mails like he says he'll do, and so one day... lovely... I was VENTING to Andrea - which by the way means to let out your feelings - like a real vent does for a smoke from a fire. Anyways... I was venting to Andrea saying that "I feel like he HATES me!" "He never calls so he must HATE me" notice the word... HATE. That word got me into the most trouble I've ever been in. Alex was on while I was venting.. and it so happens that my "so called" best friend had his IM address. She copied and PASTED everything to ALEX PORTELLI!!! uhum... everything I was PRIVATLY VENTING to HER!!! Its been a WEEK and I am still mad at her, even though she thinks I am "over it". NOPE. Uhuh, yeah right. Alex Portelli now is my Best Friend. Followed closely by someone at ALDS I choose not to name here. I sware I could tell Alex that the world was ending and he wouldn't tell a single soul. He cares about me and knows who I really am. And OF COURSE I don't really hate him, and Ive totally figured out he dosn't hate me either. I've actually planned for him to come down for a couple days with another friend Connor Lilly! ^_^ and I am TOTALLY excited about it. Hope he can come!! ^_^ YESSSS! Anyways, I care about Alex Portelli so much. Probably more than he will ever know. And I figure I am NOT going to let some friend who probably dosn't give as much a care about me as Alex does get in the way. I love Alex Portelli. ^_^ Okay, I guess thats all I have to write. I think I might just let Alex read this because I think he should know about Andrea a little bit. Figure out why I'm so mad. ^_^ My cousion by the way, when my mom told him about what Rachel made me do, he said "CLAIRE? CLAIRE? MY GOD I HAVEN'T EVEN MET THAT *BEEP* RACHEL AND....UGH!! NOBODY MESSES WITH MY CUZ! THEY GOT THAT!". My cousion is this hot shot teenager who's 3 years older than me and he's like the ruler of the world, but when he said that, I knew stopping my friendship with Andrea was the best thing to do.
Okay, I'm done. It's 11:30! Oh my gosh! I better get to bed! ^_^ LOL. Okay I'll talk to you later!
|Last updated 2008/09/28 08:11:22 PDT||Hits 195|