||Game Shows, Pokémon Style
Disclaimer: I, of course, do not own Pokémon. Though I may wish, I don't. Also, I do not own Regis Philman, Alex Trebek, or Pat Sajak. I never have wanted to and I never will want to.
Wheel of Fortune
Pat: Good evening, I'm Pat Sajak on...
Audience: Wheel! Of! Fortune!
Pat: Right! Today, I have 3 contestants with me, Ash Ketchum, Jesse Johan, and James Morgan.
James: Hey, what are you doing here?
Ash: To win some moolah!
Pat: OK, Ash, it says-
Jesse: Who cares?! Start the show!
Pat: Excuse me, ma'am?
Jesse: YOU HEARD ME!!!
Pat: ::Sweatdrops:: OK, let's start then! Here's the first puzzle:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _!
James: ::rings in::
Pat: Yes, James?
James: Huh? Oh, nothing, I just wanted to press the buzzer.
Pat: OK, James, that's quite enough.
Jesse: I didn't know there were buzzers...
Ash: There isn't. it's just for comic relief.
Pat: OK, Ash, you won the coin toss, you go first.
Ash: Can I play for the car?
Pat: Not yet, Ash.
Ash: ::Sigh:: ::Spins wheel::
Pat: No Z, sorry.
Pat: Your turn, James!
James: I want to buy a vowel!
Pat: But you have no money.
James: Yes I do! ::Pulls out a quarter and a penny from pocket::
Pat: Not that. I mean on your panel. Now please spin.
James: Fine. ::Spins wheel::
Pat: $400. Pick a letter.
Pat: You can't pick A. It's a vowel.
James: But it's a letter.
Pat: But you can't pick a vowel.
James: Fine. E.
Pat: That's a vowel.
James: It's a letter, though.
Pat: James, please cooperate and pick a letter.
Pat: NOT A VOWEL!
Pat: NOT A VOWEL I SAID!
James: But it's a letter...
Pat: PICK A CONSIDENT!
James: Oh, I know now!
Pat: ::Grins:: You do?
James: Yep! U!
Pat: ::Grin drops. Turns back toward audience, rips some hair out, screams, and turns back around::
James: Was it something I said?
Pat: James, plase pick a letter, but not A, E, I, O, or U.
James: OK, K.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ K _ _ _ _!
James: I want to buy a vowel.
Pat: Grr...::takes the notecards that he is holding in his hand and wacks James cross the face with them::
James: Ow! What was that for?
Pat: For being an idiot. I'll just go ahead and skip to Jesse!
Jesse: ::blinks:: It's 1,000 dollars. So...?
Pat: It's a lot.
Jesse: No it isn't.
Pat: Nevermind, just pick a letter. NOT A VOWEL.
Ash: ::Crosses legs:: Yes I do!
Pat: ::blinks:: OK...yes, P is a right letter!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ P _ K _ _ _ _!
Jesse: I would like to buy a vowel. U.
Pat: Er...yes! U is correct!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ U P _ K _ _ _ U!
Jesse: I would like to buy another vowel. I.
Pat: Yep, I fits!
I _ _ _ _ _ _ U P I K _ _ _ U!
Jesse: I'll spin. ::spins wheel::
I _ _ _ _ _ _ U P I K _ C _ U!
Jesse: I'll solve. I love you, Pikachu!
Pat: You got it!
I L O V E Y O U P I K A C H U!
James & Ash: She's good!
Jesse: Oh, yea!
Ash: Mr. Sajak?
Ash: Can I play for the car now?
Pat: No! Why are so worked up on that car?
Ash: ::Sniff:: This brings up a bad past...
Jesse: WE'RE the ones who bring up our bad past.
James: You're the main character and...
Jesse: You always have good luck and we're...
James: Just the bad guys.
Ash: ::blinks:: Whoa, you're good! You can finish each others' sentences!
Jesse & James: We always do. Don't you notice? Lord...
Ash: Whoa! And you say the same thing at the same time!
Jesse & James: Well, duh...
Pat: ::blinks:: Can we please get back to the show?
Ash: Can we play for the car?!
Pat: ::Sigh:: Yes, Ash, we can play for the car...
Pat: Here's the next puzzle. It's catergory is "Noun."
_ _ _ _ ' _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Pat: Jesse, you spin first.
_ _ _ _ ' _ L _ _ _ _ _ L L
Jesse: I'll solve. Kurt's Lure Ball.
K U R T ' S L U R E B A L L
Jesse: Oh, yea, that car is mine!
Ash: Hey! Wait a minute, this doesn't make any sense!
Ash: She's from Team Rocket!
Pat: Team who?
Ash: Team Rocket. Don't you watch Pokémon?
Ash: TEAM ROCKET IS AN INTERNATIONAL GANG OF POKéMON THIEVES, AND JESSE AND JAMES ARE PART OF IT!!!
Pat: And, why doesn't it make any sense?
Ash: They never win. They would've been off this show and Brock and Misty would've been on, but since the author likes them, they're on!
Pat: ::Looks up:: Is the author here now?
Author: Yes, tis I, the author.
Pat, Ash, Jesse, & James: Ooooooooh...
Author: What do thee two mortals Ash and Pat want?
Ash: Hey! How come they're not mortals now?
Author: Because, for one, Jesse is only the one of the coolest animé characters around. Two, James is the other coolest animé characters around, and the cutest!
Ash: I'm not...cute?
Author: Thy are not to I.
Ash: Quit talking like that!
Author: SILENCE, MORTAL!
Pat: Can we get back to the show now, Ms. Author?
Author: In a minute. ::Snaps fingers:: Jesse and James are now rich, own 17 mansions, have 486 cars, and Jessibelle has been shot and killed. Brock and Misty decide they hate life and jump off a cliff over a huge waterfall, sharp rocks at the bottom, piranas swimming nearby. Persian is no longer "da top cat" and is thrown in a dumpster, so Meowth can take its place.
Ash: Hey! No fair! I know plenty of other people that like me!
Author: This is my story! ::A ten-ton Twinkie falls to earth and hits Ash over the head. Inside of creme inside, there is acid.::
Ash: Hey, where's the creme filling?
::Ash is dissolved::
Pat: ::blinks:: I quit. I'm retiring.
Jesse: So, who are the main characters of Pokémon now?
Author: Thee two.
Jesse & James: Cool!
Author: ::snaps fingers:: ::Both are kind of in a trance at first, then they tell each other they love them:: Yes! They've finally did it! I don't have to wait for the last episode after all!
This is the end of a very screwed-up game show. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you.
Who Wants to be a Millionaire
Regis: Hello, I'm Regis Philman, and you're watching today's 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' Our contestants are that of the following: Ash Ketchum, 10, Misty Williams, 11, Brock Harrison, 14, Tracey Sketchit, 14, Jesse Johan, 17, James Morgan, 17, Delieah Ketchum, 32, Professor Samuel Oak, 60, Cassidy Jacob, 17, Butch Terry, 17, and Gary Oak, 10. Now it's time for the fastest figure question! Put the following Pokémon in order, from lowest to greatest in number. Pikachu, Bulbasaur, Caterpie, Raichu.
::Contestants tap in answers::
Regis: OK, time's up, let's see who got it...congratulations, James Morgan!
::All contestants stare in half horror and half awe at James::
James: Tehehe! I told you I was smart! Now I'm going to be rich!
Ash: I bet you walk away with no money!
James: Shut up! ::Walks to Hot Seat::
Regis: OK, James, for 100 dollars...What is the secret ingredient in donuts-
James: C, hytro nyglisericanic acids, final answer.
Jesse: ::sighs:: James, you eat too much junk food...
Regis: Yes, that's it!
Regis: Question 2...what is Pikachu's number? A: 0, B: 0, C: 0, D: 25.
James: Hmm...this is tough...A?
Regis: Final answer?
James: No, B!
Regis: OK, Final answer?
Regis: OK...final answer?
Regis: WILL YOU JUST PICK A DANG LETTER?!
::Everyone stares at Regis::
James: It's Z!
Regis: Nope, sorry, get outta here.
Regis: Look, kid, get out of here or your life will be a little shorter.
Regis: Will you-
James: ::Spins in chair:: Weeeee! I didn't know this spins!
James: ::Quickly leaves::
Jesse: I don't know him. OK?
Brock: Sure you do, Jesse, he's your partner and the love of your life!
Jesse: Why, you little-
Regis: Yes! Thank heavens that kid's outta my hair. OK, now it's time for the next Fastest Finger Question. Contestants, get ready! The question is: Put the following characters in order from when they were first introduced on Pokémon to the latest: Misty, Brock, Ash, Tracey.
::Contestants tap in answers::
Regis: And the winner is...Misty Williams!
Misty: All right! ::Runs to Hot Seat::
Regis: Good day, Misty.
Misty: You too!
Regis: YOU have some sense, don't you?
Misty: Of course!
Regis: Great! Now let's start. For 100 dollars, which of the following is a gas? A: Water, B: Onyx, C: Vapor, D: Ice.
Regis: Good, next question: What is the term fo-Ash, what are you doing?
Ash: Cleaning my Pikachu's fur, is that OK with you? ::Continues licking Pikachu's fur::
Regis: ::Blinks:: OK...tell me Ash, is James related to you in any way?
Regis: ::Sighes:: Kids these days are loosing their brain cells too quickly.
|Last updated 2008/09/28 06:13:07 PDT||Hits 153|