wackynews The Wackytown News
THIS IS A PAGE FOR NEWS! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BANDIT MOOSE? WHERE IS THE LOST CALF HIDING? FIND OUT IN THIS WACKY PAPER!

BIG STORK JUMPS TALL BUILDING!
by Helen
Make way, make way! The big stork is jumping! Today a big Green Stork jumped over the Mall of America. It was the biggest jump ever made by these giant birds! "I can't believe it!" One watcher says. "I thought these birds were smaller than this!" Normally they are, but this feather bag isn't! It is gargantuan! If it sucseeds it will be the largest jump ever completed. It will go down in history for all who are watching.

MINI MOUSE POLISHES FURNITURE!!
by Helen
Normally mice are pests. But Minie isn't! This tiny, 1 inch long mouse cleans furiture. Without the owners of the table knowing it, her long hairy tail would always drag across the table! Watch it! She almost tips over glasses, but the mouse seems to move her tail to a hidden beat! Slowly, all the crumbs are swept away, all streaks are removed by this mouse's strange tail! Scientests are checking all chemicals to see if they could liquefy the tail substance, which is unlike any ever seen! If they can, they claim that it will be able to create wonderfull furniture polish! Here we come clean houses!

POOSANXY DISCOVERED ON NEPTUNE
by Helen
A rare alien was discovered on Neptune lately; one we thought could only survive on Mercury. "It needs the heat" says a puzzled Prof. E. Hasdneaii. "Without it, it can't breath!" However, this strange looking creature is there, if slightly changed. "We think it may be a different kind of Hniia, which enables it to survive" Says Dr. Jas Miines. They are even now searching for more evidence of these spectacular aliens.

REMAINS OF ANCIENT TEMPLE DISVCOVERED
by Helen
For years scientists have been searching for the last piece of the Srecxsqwead temple. After all hope was lost, a satelite heading for Pluto discovered a fragment of the missing piece on Saturn! Renewed hope has driven scientists like Dr. Marshall Miloosii to further research. "We think that a great asteroid, like the one that may have wiped out the dinosaurs collided with earth and blew these fragments off the face of the earth." He says. "Who knows? Perhaps the next piece is a solar system over, but now, finally, we're back on track!"

BIGHOTHOT BONES FOUND
by Helen
At first, we couldn't believe it. A Bighothot was a legendary creature, like the mermaid and centaur were. But Prof. Ima Craz Eee and Dr. Hoo R. U. were digging for dinosaur
bones (Srenasaurus) when they came across a strange skeleton
still emitting burning blue rays after millions of years. "And millions of miles through space!" Prof. Ima Craz Eee says. "They never lived on earth, that's for sure!" They are now working to find the rest of the skeleton. Good luck diggers!

COVERED HOLE INJURES CALF
by Helen
What has happened to the world? Just last week, a calf fell in a hole. Not much of a surprise right? Wrong. Here's how it happened. "We were sittin' in our chairs, lookin' at the purty sunset." says Farmer Moo C. Ows wife. "All o' a sudden, we hears us a bawling like nuthin'! We's all so surprised, so's we sits there. Then don't my husband go screeching up a mile, about our leetle calf out there." The two carefully stroll into the evening. Upon finding nothing, they start to return to the house. Then "We fell. Goll darn we fell!" says the farmer "We land on that poor calf, all tired out like. We ull him out, and aren't we surprised! The hole seems to have dissapered!" But his wife called him. He pulled her out, and showed her. The hole was gone, yet still there! "Witchcraft for certain!" Exclaims the farmer's wife. But we still don't know. But look out in your fields for more of these strange holes! They are weird!

STRANGE PEOPLE INVADE EARTH
by Megan and Miranda
Aliens invaded outer space! UFO in sky! The aliens landed in New York, near the Empire State Building. Now they've come to New Hampshire! Look out! They might come to your house and land.

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Last updated  2008/09/28 08:38:30 PDTHits  238