The fourth grade girls group just completed a 5 week program to discuss the "Do's and Don'ts of friendship. For the final meeting, all four classes met for lunch and watched a movie. The video, "Chrissa" was about a fourth grade girl who was bullied by a classmate. The movie showed the emotional stress it caused and how it diminished her self esteem. The girls agreed the girls group and this video helped them understand the impact it can make on a child being bullied. The empathy they felt for Chrissa made them think twice about their social choices and gave them the motivation to stick up for others.

The boys 5 week program began this week. Every fourth grade boy during their library time will meet for five weeks to discuss the "Do's and Don'ts" of friendship. The boys have expressed their enthusiasm about starting the group.

The fifth grade students have completed the "Conflict Managers" program. Their job will be to assist the teacher aides at recess to help younger students resolve and mediate playground conflicts. The trained fifth graders will be respectful of their classmates feeling during the intervention process. The conflict managers will be identified on the playground by the bright green flourescent vests.

The “Acts of Courage Program” was developed three years ago as a whole school initiative for the purpose of creating a caring, compassionate, and cooperative school environment. This program was created to help reduce the incidents of teasing in the school while increasing random acts of kindness. Teachers ask their students on a regular basis to share a time when they had the opportunity to practice an act of courage or a time they noticed when another classmate displayed kindness. The school-wide “Acts of Courage Program” reinforces our values and beliefs and supports our character education and bullying programs. The students have pledged by signing their name and promising to make an effort by practicing the following five “Acts of Courage”:

1) Stand up for someone being teased

2) Include someone new in your group

3) Talk to someone you have never talked to before

4) Give someone a compliment

5) Tell an adult if someone is bullying you

The students pledges will be displayed in the cafeteria for all to see. To expand and increase the effectiveness of this program, I am inviting parents, community guests and the whole staff at the Cole School to join the teachers in becoming active participants in the program. To help encourage, motivate and increase kind behaviors in our school we will begin to reward students with a helping hand (paper token) when they are caught practicing one of the five acts of courage. Teachers will receive a supply of tokens to reward their students when an act of courage is observed. The teachers will collect the reward tokens from their students and add them to a class collection for a future whole class reward which will be determined by each classroom teacher. The rewards will then be recycled by the teacher to be given out again. Your participation is requested to help us promote our school-wide character education program. All staff members will reward the students when they observe an act of kindness anywhere in the building. Additionally, a supply of rewards will be available, for our visitors, in a jar located on the shelf by the front office window. Visitors will be asked to please return any unused hands to the jar to recycle before leaving the building. I would like to thank-you for your help in promoting our whole school character education program. If you have any questions about the program please feel free to call me at anytime.

The following strategies may be helpful in teaching your child: :)

LOOK FOR TEACHABLE MOMENTS

Children don't learn values from a single "big talk" with their parents. Instead, they learn values every day. Pay attention and you'll notice lots of moments when small lessons are taught by example. For instance, when you give extra change back to the cashier, you teach HONESTY. When you let a mom with a crying baby go ahead of you in line, you teach GENEROSITY. When you hold the door for someone, you teach KINDNESS. Chances are, you can think of many situations like this. Point out ethical choices that your family makes. As soon as you can, talk about what happened. You might say, "I saw you help Mary when she fell on the playground. That was really nice of you." You can also discuss things you see on TV. Ask, " What would you have done in that situation?" Or say, "What do you think I would have done?" ( this reveals how your child sees your values.)

BETTER BEHAVIOR - Through Loving Discipline

As your children grow up, it's natural for them to challenge you. Sometimes, it seems easier to just let them have their way. But all kids need limits, and they need parents to guide them. Discipline works best with a balance of love, respect, clearly defined rules, and understanding. Here are some secrets of effective discipline.

MAKE THE RULES CLEAR

Children do best when they know what to expect. Talk about family rules, explaining the consequences clearly. EXAMPLE: "Put your bicycle away when you've finished riding it. If you don't, you won't be allowed to ride it the next day." As your child learns to read, write down the rules and put them on the refrigerator as a reminder.

BE CONSISTENT AND FIRM

You can expect your kids to "test" the rules from time. When they do, try to stand your ground and apply the set consequences. Being firm and consistent lets them know that you mean business.

GIVE POSITIVE FEEDBACK

Try to focus more on your child's right actions than on their wrong ones. This will encourage them to try even harder to behave. So, when you see behavior you'd like repeated, let your kids know. EXAMPLE: "Thanks for hanging up your coat and backpack!" :)

One Monday a month, students may sign up and perform for their classmates during Monday's Entertainment offered to all students . Many students enjoy acting and performing on stage and this gives them an opportunity to perform. It is another recess option that some children choose instead of attending outdoor play.

There are many children who prefer to stay in during recess to play chess, checkers, card games, basketball or an activity that interests them instead of going outside. Students will have a choice to stay in on Monday's with a friend. If your child is interested in alternative play, they can let me know during their lunch when they see me in the cafeteria.

If you have any questions or would like to discuss your child, please feel free to call or send me an e-mail at the school. You can reach me at the school between 7:45 and 5:00 almost everyday.

Would you like your child to make more friends? Try coaching him/her in how to be the kind of friend that other kids are naturally drawn to. Here are some "friendly" behaviors you can help your child master.

SMILE

Children (and adults) enjoy being around people who are happy. Encourage your child to smile and make eye contact when he/she meets others.

SHARE

Generosity is contagious. Suggest that your child share with friends and classmates. Explain that they will be more likely to share with her/him in return.

LISTEN

Everyone likes it when others listen to what they have to say. Encourage your youngster to ask others about themselves. TIP: If your child is shy, help him practice conversation starters, like " Which class are you in?" or " I like soccer. Do you play?"

BE A GOOD SPORT

Good sportsmanship is an important part of being a good friend. Challenge your child to say "Great game! Thanks for playing with me!" after a game-whether he/she wins or loses.

Ask your child to hug their knees and say " I love myself, " they will explain to you what we mean by that and why it is so important. Reach out to someone who needs you ! :)

Families who are seeking support outside the school in the areas of social skills groups, parent grps. or individual counseling may call the following recommended therapists or you may call me for other referrals. Many therapists are in the process of developing their groups for the fall.

Val Wooley,LICSW

80 Washington Sq. Ste D28

Norwell, MA #781-871- 2212

Ann McCarthy-Egan,LICSW

62 Derby St. Suite 15

Hingham, MA #781-740-8213

Tammy Graham

210 Whiting Place

Hingham, MA #781-740-9044

Cheryl Larson

33 Union St. Suite #20

Weymouth, MA 02089 #781-956-5901

Student/Counselor Connection:

There are many ways I stay connected to the students here at Cole. I have lunch and recess groups every day, individual talks, peer mediation, group counseling; such as loss, divorce/single parent groups for every grade, social skill groups, and magic circle/class meetings on a regular basis.

Topics of discussion during class meetings with the counselor include:

* understanding self and others

* teasing and bullying

* stress management

* telling vs. tattling

* making good choices

* making and keeping friends

* solving problems

* how to say NO ! ( politely to peers and adults )

* understanding your feelings & how to manage them

* empathy vs. sympathy

* differences ( knowing your strengths & weaknesses )

* knowing your boundaries ( reading non-verbal cues )

* boy/girl relationships

* adjustment issues such as loss, grief & moving

* changing families

These are some of the subjects we discuss as a class, in small groups, or as individual support. If you have other topics that you feel would be relevent for a particular grade or would like your child included in any of these groups please feel free to call me.

The Guidance Reference Library is located in the waiting room outside the guidance office. There are many subjects and topics available to all Norwell parents. To check out a book is the same process as any library. Fill out the library card inside of the front cover and put it in the box on top of the bookshelf. Please feel free to come and check out my book inventory. I do not need to be there for you to check out a book. The door is always open. Feel free to come and read a book while you are waiting for your son or daughter.

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