CASE AGAINST SAYING, 'I LOVE YOU MORE!'
You have probably heard someone say, "I love you" to someone and the recipient of the expression responds by saying, "I love you more."
While both expressions sound romantic and remarkable, there is something wrong with the response.
What's Wrong With Saying, 'I Love You More'?
Saying "I love you more" is actually a put-down. Here's why. When you say to someone "I love you," and the person responds by saying, "I love you more," it appears as if the respondent is trying to get the upper hand. The person wants to get one up on the person who merely said, "I love you."
By saying, "I love you more," you are comparing and putting yourself on top. You insinuate that you are better equipped to love to a greater capacity. If the truth is told, people can love only to the extent that they can love, and there should never be a direct or indirect comparison.
It belittles the person who merely said, "I love you" because the person who responds by saying, "I love you more" is saying "I can love better than you." The person who says, "I love you more" gives the impression that he is better at loving than you are. If he thinks that about loving you, he probably thinks that about other things in the relationship as well.
Not a Complete Sentence
"I love you" is a complete sentence with a subject, a verb, and direct object. PERIOD! Nothing else needs to be added to it for it to make sense.
On the other hand, "I love you more" is not a logical sentence because something appears to be missing. For instance, "I love you more than what?" More than who else? More now than in the past? More than my favorite song, food, or hobby?
What "I Love You More" Could Mean
When someone responds by saying, "I love you more," the person could be trying to outdo what you said. Actually, it could be a put-down or a way to belittle you who could only say, "I love you." The respondent could be telling you that you are not capable of loving as much as he or she is capable of loving.
It is ambiguous what the "I-love-you-more" person is trying to say. He could be telling you that he loves you more than something else. The sentence seems incomplete as if another comparison should be given such as "I love you more than chocolate chip cookies." Even worse is "I love you more than I love spinach."
The person could be saying indirectly that "I love you more than I love your best friend." Or "I love you more than I love my last significant other." He could be saying, "I love you more today than yesterday when I didn't love you as much or not at all."
Michael Jackson used to say it. Television personality Wendy Williams says it all the time when someone from the audience yells, "I love you, Wendy." The talk show host yells back, "I love you more." She lies when she says that. She doesn't know that person. So, how could she love someone more when she has never seen that person before. It seems to be a habit more than an actual emotion.
What Did Jesus Command?
Saying, "I love you more is not biblical." Throughout the Bible, Jesus commanded His disciples and others to love one another but not once did He command anyone to love someone more.
Some people are uncomfortable by merely saying, "I love you" and leaving it at that. They feel that they have to add something to those three words when actually they don't need to do so. The words "I love you" is powerful enough to stand on their own.
Difference Between "I love you too" and "I love you more"
It is more appropriate to say, "I love you too" than to say, "I love you more." Saying "I love you too" is a way of expressing that you also love the person you are talking to without making a comparison, assigning a degree to the emotion, or trying to top the expression. Saying "I love you more" is a way of expressing that your love for the person is stronger or greater than the person's love for you.
“I love you too” expresses equality of emotions without comparison.
“I love you more” denies equality by asserting that the person who gives the response has a stronger, truer, deeper and greater love.
How can he or she make that claim?
There is no way to quantify feelings. Therefore, neither partner has no way to measure whose feelings are more, and whose are less. So a more scientifically correct reply isn't "I love you more." Rather, "I love you too" doesn't indicate measurement or intensity.
My Personal Opinion
I have told many people that I love them. However, I have never added anything to that already complete sentence. I have never formed my mouth to say, "I love you more" for the reasons I have stated above.
Some might disagree with my commentary on this subject. That's fine because I shared what I was led to share. However, do me a favor...Just love me. There is no need to love me more.
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