| A | B |
|---|
| "You nut!" | Zach |
| "I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is." | Forrest Gump |
| "Badgers! Badgers! We don't need no stinking badgers!" | Raul from Raul's Wild Kingdom |
| "Wait a minute...you guys aren't from the pizza place!" | Stanley Spadowsky |
| "I like 'em tight, and toasty." | Garth |
| "It would be better if it was Oreo." | Scott |
| "I bet I could eat out all those junior high kids." | Fishtank |
| "And if you can't do that, you're probably in the wrong class." | Mr. Woolman |
| "I'm going to go off on a little tangent here." | Mrs. Skaden |
| "What's up with that!" | Alexander |
| "None! None!" | Mr. Richards |
| "Zang!" | Wayne Cambell |
| "Wang!" | Scott's mis-quote of Wayne Cambell |
| "Brett, shut up. I'm sick of you" | Kisler (AABH) |
| "Cut your hair." | Everybody that should kiss Kelsey |
| "I have a degree in this, that, and the other thing..." | Mr. Reiter |
| "I'm definitely not wearing my underwear." | Rayman from Rainman |
| "These are load-bearing walls, they aren't coming down!" | Kramer |
| "Some empty calories and a little adult entertainment, aye Georgy-boy." | Mr. Steinbrenner |
| "Get out!" | Elaine |
| "...because of that chicken supernova!" | Jerry Seinfeld |
| "How can you kill women, children." | Joker, Full Metal Jacket |
| "You're gonna need a bigger boat." | Jaws |
| "Yeah, but there's no HBO!" | Steve, Night at the Roxbury |
| "What is your major malfunction, numb-nuts!" | Drill Seargent, Full Metal Jacket |
| "If anything, I'm a dirty blonde." | Jackie |
| "The janitor! It must have been the janitor!" | R.J. Fletcher, UHF |
| "For girls, it's natural." | Scott on alternate lifestyles |
| "Are you stupit!" | The Bulldog |
| "I hate blue cheese." | Every sane person in the world today |
| "Is there something in my teeth?" | Ace Ventura |
| "The ladies await my friend. Cellphone." | Doug, Night at the Roxbury |
| "This thing must corner like it's on rails." | Vivian, Pretty Woman |
| "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!" | George, Seinfeld |
| "Samsonite, I was way off." | Dumb & Dumber |
| "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" | Someone in extreme pain |
| "Nice throw, faggot!" | Chris Bitme to the Bulldog |
| "Watch me ramp this bed of nails with the van over a fiery pit of snakes." | Kory talking about the white van |
| "Lesbian Nazi hookers, abducted by UFO's and forced into weight loss programs." | Town Talk, UHF |
| "If it ever happens again, your face will be in the pavement and I don't care if I send you to the hospital." | the Bulldog to Chris |
| "I don't need any of your lip." | the Bulldog to Zach |
| "No, but I want one." | Scott explaining why he has arrows |
| "Just call me Mr. Butterfingers." | Shop teacher, UHF |
| "Oh look, they're really mad now!" | Raul about the antfarm, UHF |
| "IWECC" | Scott's campaign slogan |
| "Well, stink on your bottom!" | Jessica Hain |
| "You're going to get an arrest!" | Kara Larson |
| "Says you." | Kory Kirkland |
| "Aye dunno." | Somebody who doesn't know |
| "you hit her right in the juggle." | Lona Flemming |
