| A | B |
|---|
| John | Often distorts the truth, organized the supercolossal fruit roll and "the Bathroom Bomber" |
| Lorraine | wants to be a writer and likes to use big words |
| Mr. Pignati | enjoys telling jokes and likes to talk a lot, his best friend is a primate |
| Lorraine's mother | tells Lorraine that she isn't beautiful and thinks that men have only one thing on their minds |
| John's mother | a disinfectant fanatic |
| John's father | quit drinking due to sclerosis of the liver, put a lock on the phone, and was nicknamed the "Bore" |
| Norton | known as "the Marshmallow Kid" |
| Dennis | held the record for the longest phone marathon |
| Miss Reillen | makes cricket-like sounds when walking |
