Crucial Conversations - CIS 2024

Study guide / Book Review
Name: 


  1. What are the three elements that make a conversation crucial?


  1. What is the relationship between Dialogue and the Pooled of Shared Meaning, and why is it important?


  1. Give examples of some of the key pitfalls that take us away from focusing on what we want to get out of a crucial conversation.


  1. How can you avoid the pitfalls/fools choice in a crucial conversation?


  1. Think about your own response to crucial conversations. Do you tend to focus on content and ignore conditions? If so, if you were to focus on both, what are some things you could do differently in the future?


  1. What is your own style under stress when you are in the midst of a crucial conversation? Are you aware of your style when it's happening?


  1. Application:
    What if you had promised a colleague that as a favor, you would help her do a portion of the analysis for a presentation that she would be making? She was counting on you to have it done, and didn't allow any additional time on her own to do it. However, you completely forgot to do it. She immediately said, " I knew I couldn't count on you. You never even make your own deadlines." What specific Crucial conversation tool would you use first in this situation?

    If that didn't work and she responded, " This makes me wonder if you intentionally are trying to undermine me to make your own presentation look better." What tool would you use, and what type of "story" was she telling herself?


  1. Application:
    What if you had a coworker in the cubicle next to you who invited several friends to her cube at 10am and 2pm for morning and afternoon break time. This regularly included 30 minutes of food (microwave popcorn, etc.), and conversation - which was difficult because 1) you are perpetually on a diet and 2) the chatter disrupts you from getting your work done. Your first attempt to discuss this resulted in her not talking to you, and now you sit steaming in your cubicle each day. You decide to try again with Mutual Purpose/Cross Purpose, Mutual Respect and Brainstorming new strategies.


  1. Reflection Question:
    Think about specific instances where you've lost your temper in a crucial conversation, and try to determine what "story" you told yourself right before you got angry. Would you have gotten mad, if there wasn't a story playing in your head? Evaluate the story---was it the "right" story? (no need to write your response)


  1. Practice Exercise:

    The next time you think you're right and are trying to convince everyone of your opinion, try using STATE skills. What does each letter of STATE stand for?
    If you have a different point of view, use ABC. What does each letter of ABC stand for?


  1. How do the lessons in the book apply to your area?


  1. Is there anything in the book you do not agree with or do not understand?